{"id":344,"date":"2021-11-11T03:03:10","date_gmt":"2021-11-11T04:03:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/overallcontacts.com\/?p=344"},"modified":"2025-05-19T12:29:06","modified_gmt":"2025-05-19T12:29:06","slug":"10-common-relationship-problems-and-how-to-fix-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/overallcontacts.com\/index.php\/2021\/11\/11\/10-common-relationship-problems-and-how-to-fix-them\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Common Relationship Problems (and how to fix them!)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Close<\/p>\n

Even the strongest and healthiest of relationships are going to run into common relationship problems\u2026 but that\u2019s okay, because we\u2019ve got a rundown of the most common relationship problems that couples have, and what you can do to fix them!<\/p>\n

Experiencing these common relationship problems doesn\u2019t mean that your relationship is doomed, it just means that it is time to put a little more intentional effort into the weak spots. Learning more about relationships<\/a> is never a bad thing, so take your time reading through this guide for how to navigate through some common relationship problems that couples face.<\/p>\n

Money<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Often in the early days of a relationship, certain areas of our lives seem to be insignificant in the face of the new budding relationship; this happens a lot with money. Couples are so thrilled to discover each other and who they are together, that the less-glamorous parts of our lives are sometimes swept under the rug. Establishing healthy money practices as a couple is essential!<\/p>\n

There are a variety of different ways that money can show up as a relationship problem<\/a>, but the most common relationship problem related to money is a mismatch between the couple, often in the ability to contribute or in expectations around money.<\/p>\n

The best way to counter this is to embrace transparency. What do you expect? What does your partner expect? You need to be able to have conversations about financial expectations openly and honestly, without judgment. We all bring our own ideas (and often baggage!) about money into relationships, so open communication is an important part of healthy money dynamics in relationships<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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READ NEXT:<\/span>  15+ Best Marriage Books for Couples to Read Together (2020)<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

Trust<\/h2>\n

Obviously, trust is a biggie in any relationship, and it\u2019s not just the high-stakes examples of trust being broken that can affect trust in a relationship (like infidelity or overpromising\/underdelivering) but it\u2019s also our own personal baggage and anxieties we carry with us from prior relationships that can get in the way.<\/p>\n

To rebuild trust after a betrayal<\/a>, it\u2019s important to practice open communication about feelings and expectations moving forward; this will take time, effort, compromise, and often counseling<\/a> with a couples therapist. Betrayal changes things and the relationship will have to change too. This might mean new standards for time spent together, how often relationship check-ins<\/a> take place, and shifts in what each person needs to feel safe in the relationship.<\/p>\n

When trust is threatened by a person\u2019s personal anxieties or prior relationship baggage, much of the work must be done by the person experiencing the anxieties<\/a>, but the other partner can help<\/a> by providing more assurance. Some of the ways to sort through personal relationship anxieties<\/a> and baggage are through self-reflection activities like journaling, meditating, therapy, and addressing specific behaviors like overthinking in a relationship<\/a>. Working towards greater trust is never a bad thing!<\/p>\n

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READ NEXT:<\/span>  10 Best Marriage Podcasts for Couples to Listen to in 2020<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

Conflicts<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Navigating conflict is a skill that doesn\u2019t come naturally for many of us, so learning how to fight fair as a couple<\/a> is an essential relationship skill that will come in handy throughout the course of both your relationship and your life! Learning how to engage respectfully and thoughtfully in heated moments has benefits that can extend beyond the relationship.<\/p>\n

Conflicts often come with Big Emotions, so calm yourself down before they take over: take deep, slow breaths and remind yourself that you and your partner are on the same team. Stay in the present and don\u2019t rehash old hurts or bring up other issues. Deal with one problem at a time; trying to solve every conflict that\u2019s ever happened in your relationship will only lead to overwhelm and nothing will be solved.<\/p>\n

If you find yourself in a toxic relationship<\/a> or staring down some relationship red flags<\/a>, it won\u2019t matter how well you can navigate conflict. You can be as calm, respectful, and present as you have ever been, but if your partner is not, managing conflict and reaching resolution probably won\u2019t happen. Not fighting fair is a major relationship mistake<\/a>, but if you and yours are able to master the art of healthy conflict, you\u2019ll be on solid ground.<\/p>\n

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READ NEXT:<\/span>  Does He Love Me?: 10 Signs He Loves You + How to Deal if He Doesn’t<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

Work-Life Balance<\/h2>\n

Work-life balance<\/a> is important for everyone, but out of all of the common relationship problems, it might be one of the sneakiest. We live in a world where it is almost impossible to completely disconnect from work. We have emails, texts, calls, video conferences, and more that mean our \u201ctime out of the office\u201d doesn\u2019t necessarily mean time off. This is problematic when you are sharing your life with another because they want time with you, too!<\/p>\n

Add in trying to coordinate two schedules and two sets of work expectations and time off together becomes even more important. If your \u201ctime off\u201d together includes answering work emails and work texts, it\u2019s not really time off, is it? If you\u2019re not sure what your work-life balance is, take this quiz<\/a> and\/or ask your significant other what they think!<\/p>\n

Every job will have different expectations, but ensuring you have time with your person where you both are completely \u201coff\u201d and giving each other some intentional attention is key to work-life balance. Whether it\u2019s time spent together at home<\/a> or on a romantic getaway<\/a>, the most important piece is always your intentional attention. Your person wants to feel like they are important to you, too!<\/p>\n

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<\/a><\/div>\n

Future Mismatch\/Avoidance of the Future<\/h2>\n

When two people first begin sharing with each other, the areas of disagreement can be easily glossed over because the agreements are more important, and that\u2019s okay! Eventually, some of these things are going to pop back up, especially if they are Big Life Things<\/a>, like if your partner wants kids and you don\u2019t, or if your partner hates the idea of marriage, but you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

If there are major mismatched expectations about the future, there is often some hope there that one person will eventually change their mind, and that is not likely with the Big Life Things like wanting kids or marriage or moving out of state or whatever the case may be. It\u2019s not that you should be trying to convince your person to change their mind, but you have to both be on the same page about what the expectations are.<\/p>\n

For example, if you are committed to having children one day and your partner isn\u2019t, then the expectation might be that eventually, you both know you will need to break up so you can pursue a relationship that will support that. There are lots of topics that are important to talk about<\/a> in committed, long-term relationships, but the most important thing is to know that you and yours are both headed in the same direction. How can you happily travel together if you don\u2019t have the same destination in mind?<\/p>\n

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READ NEXT:<\/span>  11 Things to Talk About Before Having Kids<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

Intimacy<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Intimacy (both mental and physical) is incredibly important in any long-term relationship, and often one of the things that can be easily pushed to the side in the everyday hustle and bustle of life. Luckily, there are so many simple (and fun!) ways to bring intimacy back<\/a> to your relationship, and one of the easiest is to bring back the flirting<\/a>!<\/p>\n

Do you remember the early days of the relationship? All that playful, giggly banter back and forth? Bring that back with some flirtatious texts! There are ideas for flirty texts for her<\/a>, flirty texts for him<\/a>, even flirty Christmas-themed texts<\/a> to get your wheels spinning, but really any little flirtatious text you can send your significant other to remind them that they’re still your person and you\u2019re still theirs will work!<\/p>\n

Sometimes you just need to spice things up a bit<\/a>, and you can do this by traveling together somewhere new (couples who travel together have better sex lives<\/a>), learning something new together, and of course, by mixing it up a little in the bedroom: fun and festive holiday lingerie<\/a>, anyone? You can also consider hiring an intimacy coach<\/a> to offer guidance specific to your own situation. There\u2019s even a World Association of Sex Coaches<\/a> directory you can search through to find your perfect coach: what a time to be alive, right?<\/p>\n

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READ NEXT:<\/span>  The 6 Best Apps for Couples: For Budgeting, Romance, and More<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

Boundaries<\/h2>\n

Relationship boundaries often shift and evolve over time, but healthy boundary setting<\/a> strengthens relationships. Maybe in the very early days, you two shared almost every moment of every day together because you just could not get enough of each other. The Honeymoon Phase is very sweet, but eventually, it\u2019s natural to settle into a new phase of sharing life together that involves different time boundary needs.<\/p>\n

There are many different kinds of boundaries: emotional, physical, sexual, financial, time, etc. The most important piece of having healthy boundaries in a relationship<\/a> is communicating them. The way to navigate differing boundaries is to have an open, honest, judgment-free conversation. There has to be a clear agreement on both sides for what is acceptable and what is not.<\/p>\n

Use \u201cI-Centered\u201d language, stating what you need and expect; let your partner do the same, and come together on what you both agree on, finding the sweet spots of healthy compromise on those that you don\u2019t. Note the difference between healthy and unhealthy compromise<\/a>: healthy compromise benefits both of you in some way without compromising feelings of safety. Unhealthy compromise makes someone feel unsafe or not listened to. That\u2019s never a good thing.<\/p>\n

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READ NEXT:<\/span>  7 Reasons Why He Hasn’t Proposed (and What You Should Do about It)<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

Communication<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Without healthy communication<\/a>, even the strongest of relationships fall apart. Sometimes it’s the way we communicate with each other, perhaps with accusatory language or defensive reactions: \u201cYou never ___\u201d and \u201cNo I don\u2019t! I don\u2019t know why you\u2019re attacking me like this.\u201d Neither of these is helpful. Healthy communication involves I-Centered language and slowing down to try to understand what is being said; you want thoughtful responses over rushed reactions.<\/p>\n

When couples don\u2019t have healthy communication, they can sometimes avoid hard conversations altogether, and that\u2019s not an answer either. Luckily, communication is a skill that can be improved with practice. There are wonderful books on couples’ communication <\/a>and great thoughtful conversation starters<\/a> for couples that allow you to practice some of your communication skills, too!<\/p>\n

There are other necessary means of communication too; do you know your partner\u2019s love language<\/a>? Do they feel your love the most through physical touch, or is their love language words of affirmation<\/a>, where they need to verbally hear how important they are to you? Knowing each other\u2019s love languages can ensure that you both are communicating your love to each other in a way that can be felt best.<\/p>\n

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<\/a><\/div>\n

External Stressors<\/h2>\n

As beautifully cocooned as we feel in our relationships, external stressors can throw us off balance a bit and challenge even the strongest of couples. This might be an exciting external stressor, like a promotion that requires a cross-country move, or a sorrowful external stressor, like a scary health diagnosis of a loved one. Stress is difficult to manage<\/a>, and sometimes couples find stress drives them apart rather than together.<\/p>\n

Talk about stress before <\/em>it happens. Ask your partner to tell you about a time they had to deal with a stressful life event and what helped them get through it. Determine how you can incorporate this into your support practices for each other; does your loved one thrive on information to counter the unknown? If the external stressor is a move to a new state, maybe you can spend time together on the weekends looking up facts about your new home.<\/p>\n

During a stressful event, take time for the two of you to slow down together for quality time. If your fun date night has always been dinner and a movie, but you\u2019ve been too swamped supporting a loved one during a health crisis, bring the dinner and a movie experience <\/a>in. Even if it\u2019s just ordering a pizza and watching a movie on the couch together, your relationship will be able to handle external stress much better if you and your partner find ways to stay strong, together.<\/p>\n

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<\/a><\/div>\n

Connection<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

One of the most common relationship problems that all couples in long-term relationships will eventually run into is how to maintain connection<\/a>. This doesn\u2019t mean a couple loses love for each other, it just means that the everyday tasks of life have gotten in the way of some of the connection that committed, loving couples have.<\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s been 5 or 25 years of committed partnership, there are some simple ways you can maintain connection: make Date Night<\/a> a regular event, show your love and affection<\/a> (even just a 30-second hug can boost oxytocin, the so-called \u201clove hormone!\u201d), have new experiences<\/a> together, keep setting relationship goals together<\/a>, build relationship rituals together<\/a>, and practice preventative maintenance!<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right, preventative maintenance. Don\u2019t wait until you and yours are in crisis mode to take care of the relationship. Relationship workshops, marriage retreats, and couples counseling<\/a> are all fabulous ways of strengthening your connection and ensuring that your relationship is as close to crisis-proof as you can possibly make it! Connection in a relationship is absolutely essential.<\/p>\n

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READ NEXT:<\/span>  Why Friendship in Marriage is So Important (And How to Keep It Strong)<\/span><\/div>\n

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All in all, as long as you are your person are committed to growing together, you will find that overcoming relationship problems can actually help you grow closer.<\/p>\n

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